John Wayne Bobbitt's Story Is In The News Again
Some Stories Just Keep Popping Back Up
4/16/24
First things first. Let's just make it clear that a Bobbitt is not the same thing as a Hobbit. A Hobbit is an imaginary woodland humanoid of small stature invented by the author of The Lord of the Rings. A Bobbit is... Ugh. A Bobbit is just a whole lot more complicated and, unfortunately, a Bobbitt is not imaginary.
For whatever reason, the story of John Wayne Bobbitt and his former wife Lorena Bobbitt returned to the news this week. For those who don't recall, or were too young to witness the news hysteria that broke out in June of 1993, the story of the Bobbitts involved an alleged abusive husband and the measures his wife took to prevent him from ever sexually assaulting her again. Yep, she cut off his penis with a kitchen knife.
Would a stern lecture have sufficed? Maybe. But she went right to the source of the problem. She then jumped into the car and fled the house, with penis still in hand, and threw the appendage out of the car window into a field as she was putting the pedal to the metal.
Into a field? As if wild animals don't have enough problems with people littering their habitats. Can you imagine a mouse or an owl coming across this thing and saying to themselves, "What won't they throw away next?"
It was a miracle the penis wasn't eaten. It was a miracle on top of a miracle that Lorena Bobbitt was able to lead authorities back to the location of the super-human penis. It was a miracle on top of a miracle on top of a miracle that the thing was able to be reattached after a nine-hour surgery.
She was charged with malicious wounding; he was charged with marital sexual assault. During the eight-day trial, the press covered every sensational detail. Lorena was acquitted due to reasons of insanity. ("Girlfriend, telling the cops where to find his penis was insane!") And John never served any time for spousal abuse. Two years later the couple divorced, and John used his shrinking fame to star in an adult film.
John Wayne Bobbitt's penis is old news now. What people are talking about this week are his toes, all of which have had to be amputated due to a medical condition he acquired during the time he spent as a marine at Camp Lejeune in North Carolina in the late '80s.
Unless you've been living on the Moon, you know that Camp Lejeune has become famous for a toxic relationship of its own. Apparently, its severely contaminated water has been getting soldiers sick for decades. Bobbitt blames Camp Lejeune for the neurological and physical issues he's suffered, which have caused him to have all of his toes amputated.
You mean they haven't been able to reattach any of them? There's a medical term for that. I believe they call it karma.
#amousewalksintoabarandsays"guesswhatIfound"